dating is just another form of torture

Recently, I read (and for the life of me I can’t remember where) that dating is the most exquisite form of torture. Andy by golly, I believe it because if it wasn’t torture then everyone would want to just date forever.

(Just to clarify, when I say “dating” that doesn’t include long-term relationships. I’m talking old-fashioned, not yet exclusive dating.)

Dating makes my head want to explode, kind of like having to listen to Metallica on repeat. My mind constantly wonders, does he like me, what if he doesn’t like me, why isn’t he calling me, maybe I don’t like him, is he seeing someone else, etc., etc.

I mean really. Holy hell in a hand basket, my mind won’t effing stop. Then we hang out for a second time, and I realize that all that worrying was completely worthless because the idea of spending another night with him makes me punch myself in the eye.

Not to mention makes you extremely paranoid. You keep checking your phone to make sure it works and think to yourself my service must be crappy then slyly ask a friend to give you a call just to make sure (and you know you’ve done that, don’t even try to deny it).

Because even if you’re not that into him, you still want to be the one to ditch him. It’s a pride thing.

And honestly, dating is just exhausting. I’m not a patient person. I just want to find my perfect match right now. I really don’t want to have to go through the strenuous, extended dating process.

I know getting to know someone is all part of the process, but maybe we could just hit the fast forward button to where we’re comfortable enough with each other to really be honest with each other. That’s when things get really interesting. Not that I would know, it’s been so long since my last serious relationship.

I really don’t get why people like it. It kind of reminds me of a quote from an American classic (movie), Fools Rush In.

“What the hell is dating anyway except some long drawn out process of elimination where you both try to present your best side while hiding the real you and that can only last about 3 months anyway because eventually it leaks out and then you have to spend the next 3 months getting to know your real selves and then one of you wants a commitment the other one wants to bail and then you have to start all over again. I mean dating…dating…dating is stupid.” Alex, played by the yummylicious, still on drugs Matthew Perry.

That’s all I have to say about that. No wonder no one wants to date me.

they just don’t make ‘em like they used to

Men, I mean.

I guess they could say the same thing about women, but I would consider that I good thing.

During the holiday season, one of my favorite movies to watch is It’s a Wonderful Life. Ever since the first time I saw it I’ve been in love with George Bailey.

He’s not perfect, far from it actually. But he’s a good man, a kind, honest, handsome man. And let me tell you that isn’t easy to find these days, especially the good part.

I have this theory that there are three different types of men in the world. Bad ones, nice ones and good ones.

The bad ones, obviously have a certain appeal, and you can spot them pretty easily. But they’re not the kind you want to spend the rest of your life with because they just aren’t good for you. Which you know when you meet them, but you just don’t care until they break your heart.

The nice ones are a little trickier. When you first meet them, they’re sweet and kind and you think you’ve hit the jackpot. Nice guys seem perfect at first, no flaws and treat you like a princess. Until you to get to know them. Then all of a sudden they’re not so nice anymore, and you think to yourself, “what the heck happened to the guy I met, he was so nice and sweet and now he’s a jerk.” Nice guys are really just bad guys in disguise, but they hurt you in a “nice” way. I think you know what I mean.

Finally, there are the good ones. The ones who you can fight with til you’re blue in the face, but deep down you know they love you. I would put George Bailey in this category. They’re not perfect and they don’t pretend to be. That’s what differentiates them from the nice guys. Everyone has flaws and they come out eventually, some people just are more open about it. But they have good hearts and know how to treat a girl, which is what differentiates them from the bad ones.

Good men are what women want.

Unfortunately, it seems like the world is overrun with bad guys or nice guys and good men are extremely hard to find.

I mean is it really that hard to be a good, kind, honest, decent, handsome man? Apparently.

They just don’t make ‘em like they used to.

if you’re happy and you know it

…you will get a boyfriend (or girlfriend)!

Congrats, being happy with yourself and your life will get you a significant other. It’s a proven fact, well proven in the fact that currently being unhappy in your life hasn’t rewarded you with that significant other that you so desperately want.

I’ve recently run across another single, 20-something’s blog, and she discussed the same phenomena. You can’t find someone to fall in love with until you fall in love with yourself. Because why would someone love you if you can’t even love yourself?

Being with someone simply because you don’t want to be alone will lead to being with someone who probably doesn’t truly love and respect you because you don’t truly love and respect yourself (this is the rule, there may be exceptions, but remember those are rare and few and far between).

Not to mention, are you truly happy?

To me, happiness is about finding yourself and what you want out of life. It’s different for everyone.

So my unsolicited advice is: Find what makes you happy, and love will come when it knows you’re ready for it.