the resolutions i’ll never keep

Ahh, the New Year. A time for forgetting about the past. A time for new beginnings. A time for those pesky New Year’s resolutions.

Ugh. Every year I make New Year’s resolutions and every year I never keep them just like every other person. Maybe this year I should make a resolution to not make any resolutions. That’s one I’ll be sure to keep.  But in the spirit of the season, here’s my list.

#1. Be more optimistic. I tend to be a realistic pessimist. Maybe I can give optimism a try. It’s supposed to make you live longer.

#2. Make my button-up shirts fit better. Obviously, losing weight is one that’s on everyone’s list, but my upper torso area is one that definitely needs to be worked on. Boobs, arms and the chub-a-lub around my tummy. It all needs to go. Not that my tree-trunk thighs and shelf of a bottom couldn’t use a few lunges, but I’m not going to stretch myself to far. And with a little help from Jillian Michaels, I’m thinking this could work.

#3. Try to be less mean. It’s a constant joke in my family that I’m extremely mean. I don’t try to be; it just sort of happens. And it only happens when I’m around people I’m close to. So this year, Mom, I promise I’m going to try to be nicer.

#4. Blog more. This one I think I can keep. I love to blog and always kinda thought I didn’t have time for it, but I’ve been trying harder and harder to make more time.

and last, but certainly not least:

#5. Save more, spend less. This one hurts a little because I love to shop. I always need more shoes, purses, clothes, make up, etc. You name it, I need more of it. But I’m trying to get my own place so hopefully, I can hold out. Can’t live with the mama forever.

We’ll see. They say when you write down your goals, you’re more likely to stick to them. God, I hope so because I never keep my resolutions.

What do you plan to resolve next year?

my favorite christmas song

Every Christmas season I have a new favorite song. Mostly because I wear out the song from the year before because I put it on repeat for an entire month.

Last year it was “All I Want For Christmas” from Love Actually. This year it’s “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” from Elf. Zooey Deschanel has an amazing voice and I just can’t get enough (she’s my girl crush).

So enjoy!

dating is just another form of torture

Recently, I read (and for the life of me I can’t remember where) that dating is the most exquisite form of torture. Andy by golly, I believe it because if it wasn’t torture then everyone would want to just date forever.

(Just to clarify, when I say “dating” that doesn’t include long-term relationships. I’m talking old-fashioned, not yet exclusive dating.)

Dating makes my head want to explode, kind of like having to listen to Metallica on repeat. My mind constantly wonders, does he like me, what if he doesn’t like me, why isn’t he calling me, maybe I don’t like him, is he seeing someone else, etc., etc.

I mean really. Holy hell in a hand basket, my mind won’t effing stop. Then we hang out for a second time, and I realize that all that worrying was completely worthless because the idea of spending another night with him makes me punch myself in the eye.

Not to mention makes you extremely paranoid. You keep checking your phone to make sure it works and think to yourself my service must be crappy then slyly ask a friend to give you a call just to make sure (and you know you’ve done that, don’t even try to deny it).

Because even if you’re not that into him, you still want to be the one to ditch him. It’s a pride thing.

And honestly, dating is just exhausting. I’m not a patient person. I just want to find my perfect match right now. I really don’t want to have to go through the strenuous, extended dating process.

I know getting to know someone is all part of the process, but maybe we could just hit the fast forward button to where we’re comfortable enough with each other to really be honest with each other. That’s when things get really interesting. Not that I would know, it’s been so long since my last serious relationship.

I really don’t get why people like it. It kind of reminds me of a quote from an American classic (movie), Fools Rush In.

“What the hell is dating anyway except some long drawn out process of elimination where you both try to present your best side while hiding the real you and that can only last about 3 months anyway because eventually it leaks out and then you have to spend the next 3 months getting to know your real selves and then one of you wants a commitment the other one wants to bail and then you have to start all over again. I mean dating…dating…dating is stupid.” Alex, played by the yummylicious, still on drugs Matthew Perry.

That’s all I have to say about that. No wonder no one wants to date me.

so, are you going to blog about this?

I haven’t been a blogger for very long, just a couple of months. So it’s still a little weird when people I don’t see very often, or ever, say something to me about my blog.

Take this past week for example. People I haven’t talked to in awhile have been coming out of the wood work then asking me if I’m going to post this to my blog.

My answer: “Um duh. When I have time.”

One even suggested a title: “That might be creepy, plus i talked about your boobs and said f***.” I decided against that title, but I figured I would mention it anyway. (Thanks, Ryan).

Then, on Thursday, while at the Frozen Tundra, also known as Browns Stadium. Being a Steelers fan, obviously the outcome wasn’t what I had expected, but the my favorite part of the night was yelling at the person sitting next to me because he gave me attitude about getting up to go to the bathroom.

I’m not a confrontational person, but I had finally had it with the attitude. So I called him an asshole and told him to stop talking to me (in all fairness he did try to apologize, after my friends brother yelled at him, but it was laced with sarcasm so it doesn’t count).

On the Trail of Frozen Tears walk back to the car (yes, it was that long, my feet were frozen), my friends brother asked, “so are you going to blog about this?”

Ha! Twice in one week, so yes to answer your question, I am going to blog about it.

they just don’t make ‘em like they used to

Men, I mean.

I guess they could say the same thing about women, but I would consider that I good thing.

During the holiday season, one of my favorite movies to watch is It’s a Wonderful Life. Ever since the first time I saw it I’ve been in love with George Bailey.

He’s not perfect, far from it actually. But he’s a good man, a kind, honest, handsome man. And let me tell you that isn’t easy to find these days, especially the good part.

I have this theory that there are three different types of men in the world. Bad ones, nice ones and good ones.

The bad ones, obviously have a certain appeal, and you can spot them pretty easily. But they’re not the kind you want to spend the rest of your life with because they just aren’t good for you. Which you know when you meet them, but you just don’t care until they break your heart.

The nice ones are a little trickier. When you first meet them, they’re sweet and kind and you think you’ve hit the jackpot. Nice guys seem perfect at first, no flaws and treat you like a princess. Until you to get to know them. Then all of a sudden they’re not so nice anymore, and you think to yourself, “what the heck happened to the guy I met, he was so nice and sweet and now he’s a jerk.” Nice guys are really just bad guys in disguise, but they hurt you in a “nice” way. I think you know what I mean.

Finally, there are the good ones. The ones who you can fight with til you’re blue in the face, but deep down you know they love you. I would put George Bailey in this category. They’re not perfect and they don’t pretend to be. That’s what differentiates them from the nice guys. Everyone has flaws and they come out eventually, some people just are more open about it. But they have good hearts and know how to treat a girl, which is what differentiates them from the bad ones.

Good men are what women want.

Unfortunately, it seems like the world is overrun with bad guys or nice guys and good men are extremely hard to find.

I mean is it really that hard to be a good, kind, honest, decent, handsome man? Apparently.

They just don’t make ‘em like they used to.

worst gift giver ever

I am the worst gift giver ever. Unfortunately, it’s that time of year where gift giving is most prominent, and I am in total agony.

I always want to be the one to give personal, creative, meaningful gifts. But it usually ends up that I give them something stupid or they just don’t get it and I get the fake, “no I really like it” smile.

Don’t get me wrong, I love giving gifts. Nothing brings me more joy. Too bad I completely suck at it. Occasionally, I’ll have a miraculous moment and find the most perfect gift. Of course then I can’t wait to give it to the person and I don’t wrap it and hand it to them in the bag it came in, completely ruining the whole gift giving process.

I can’t really remember all the bad gifts I’ve given. I remember getting an ex a blanket one year for Christmas because he was always complaining that it was cold in his apartment. He didn’t appreciate it as much as I thought he would. Maybe I should’ve just paid his heating bill.

Now that I’m getting older and have realized my complete lack of creative gift giving, I just admit it and tell everyone if they want a good gift they need to just tell me what they want or they’ll be getting nothing because I’m not wasting my money on something they’ll hate.

Ha, well I’m not that mean but it’s pretty effective.